(Susan's Decision continued...)

I remembered how Paul had told me that he had asked Jesus, and Jesus had come and helped him.  At times, Paul had had some pretty bizarre behavior, but I knew he had changed; I knew he was not crazy anymore.  It occurred to me that I could do the same thing and maybe I wouldn’t go crazy either!  I don’t know how I knew this, but I knew if I asked Jesus to come help me right then, I would be committing myself to follow Him for the rest of my life.  Here was my time to make a decision.

When I asked Jesus to come help me, the scene inside my mind immediately changed.  I found myself in the bedroom I’d had as a child, pushing on the door as I used to do to keep my brother out when we were fighting.  Only this time, it was the “fear monsters” on the other side, trying to get at me, pushing on the door and reaching around with their cloud-like tendrils.

I pushed and pushed with all the strength I had, and still I couldn’t get the door all the way shut.  As I desperately kept the pressure on, I looked and saw that suddenly the door was completely sealed shut.  I also realized that it was not my strength that had shut the door tight.  At that point, I was flooded with a warmth, a peace, a joy, and a relief the likes of which I had never felt before.  This was the real thing!  I knew I had met Jesus, and it was His strength that had shut the door on fear.

Now all this had happened on the inside of me.  Nothing had been said out loud.  Paul had no idea what was going on until I told him a day or two later.  When we got to Iowa, I pulled out the Living Bible my mother had sent me, and read the Book of Romans and the Book of Hebrews.  There I saw the whole plan of God and it made more sense to me than anything I had ever read or studied before.  I knew I had found the truth I was looking for.  Jesus is the Truth.  He said, “I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life.  No one comes to the Father but by Me.”  So now I can truly say, through Jesus Christ, “I and the Father are one.”  

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